The Difference Between "Looking" and "Being"

I am a naturally small guy, so I would always overeat to try to gain muscle mass. I remember years ago when I got my first gym membership. The personal trainer was teaching me how to bench press. I remember how he kept taking the weights off of the bar, 10 pounds at a time, because I would struggle with the weight.

When the trainer finally took the last two 10 pound weights off of the bar, I still struggled to lift the bar. I felt so weak. I remember the look on his face when I struggled to bench press that empty bar. He actually shook his head in disgust and walked away, leaving me to struggle with the bench press bar.

I was so embarrassed that I decided I would never be weak again. I started going to the gym every day as soon as they opened at 5 in the morning. I wanted to get there before anybody else, because I was so ashamed for other people to see me trying to work out. I was the first person in the gym every morning. Some days I would get there at 4:30 am and would be waiting on the steps when the trainer arrived.

I bought a body building encyclopedia and I was determined to train myself. I was frustrated because regardless of how much I worked out, I could not gain any weight. This is when I started drinking those disgusting weight gainers and protein shakes. I would also go to an all-you-can-eat buffet every morning after my work out.

I also had a pizza delivery job at the time and we always had extra pizza, so I started eating two whole pizzas every day. Before I knew it I had started to put on muscle mass and people started to notice.

I developed two habits in my early twenties that stayed with me for the next decade. I always worked out even though I was inconsistent, and I also developed the habit of eating massive amounts of junk food.

It was a couple of years before I started working out at they gym, when I saw my first network marketing business presentation.

The presenter was wearing an expensive suit and alligator shoes, and he talked about how a job was an acronym for "Just Over Broke". He also talked about all of the money he was making in network marketing. I was a broke college student at the time, and to me he "looked" rich.

I have always wanted to be rich since I was a little kid, but I never knew how. After attending that network marketing presentation, I finally thought I had the answer, but I was flat broke at the time and the cost to get started was $500.

I went home trying to figure out how I would come up with the $500. My parents had just bought me a new computer for school, and I was able to pawn it for exactly $500.

Well, I was going to school at Tuskegee University in Alabama at the time. The nearest training facility for that particular network marketing opportunity was in Atlanta, Georgia.

My up-line told me that I needed to do two things to be successful:

1. Never miss a weekly training

2. Always bring new people to the weekly business presentation

I would drive two hours both ways every week from Tuskegee, Alabama to Atlanta, Georgia. I brought new people with me every time, but I barely sponsored enough people to make my money back. Even worse, nobody on my team made any money at all.

I ended up dropping out of college, because I knew that I could not get rich by learning how to work for someone else. In hindsight I realize that I did not have the best decision making skills, because I ended up losing a full scholarship.

Well, I spent the next decade of my life chasing my dream of financial freedom. I was susceptible to "get rich quick" schemes, and I would try just about anything that I thought would help me make a lot of money.

I was also taught to dress for success, and how to look successful. This was part of the reason why I was able to sponsor over 150 people when I tried another network marketing business a few years later.

Well, if you fast forward to December of 2009, my eating habits and financial habits had finally caught up with me. A few months prior, I had filed for bankruptcy and my home/investment property had been foreclosed.

I also had a mini-stroke, but I did not realize it until I noticed that it was becoming difficult for me to speak clearly and I also started to lose my balance.

By January of 2010, I was homeless and I had reached the lowest point of my life. It was at that point that I made the decision that I no longer cared about "looking" healthy. I wanted to "be" healthy. I also do not care about "looking" rich. I want to "be" rich.

There is a big difference between " looking" and "being". I do not agree with the idea of "fake it until you make it." "Looking" is about giving a false perception, or in other words being fake. "Being" is about developing the characteristics and your character.

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